Untying the Knot: It’s Possible to Divorce with Love

After 10 years of marriage, award-winning actress Gwyneth Paltrow and Coldplay frontman Chris Martin announced their breakup in 2014. They called it “conscious uncoupling.” In their joint statement, the celebrity couple said, “We have come to the conclusion that while we love each other very much, we will remain separate.”

The breakup sounds very agreeable. Theirs is not the only amicable celebrity divorce you might have seen in recent years. Chris Pratt and Anna Faris, as well as Channing Tatum and Jenna Dewan, publicly announced their separation from their spouses, with both ex-couples reiterating that they love and respect their exes.

In the U.S., there’s an average of 840,000 divorces and annulments every year. Unfortunately, not every case of divorce in New Mexico is as peaceful or smooth as the examples above. Divorce in popular culture, and oftentimes in real life, is portrayed in a way that shows name-calling and mud-slinging.

But do you really want this kind of goodbye, especially if you have children?

In the end, hating the other person does more harm to your well-being than theirs. As you talk with your divorce lawyer in Santa Fe, NM, think about how to let go of the bitterness you’re feeling towards your ex-spouse.

Replacing Hate with Love and Gratitude

Girl hugging his leaving dadWhen you’re in the middle of a divorce, your ex can be a huge source of stress. Sometimes, it’s easier to lean towards hating them, especially if they were the one in the wrong, instead of feeling the heartbreak they caused.

When this happens, it’s important to recognize that, in spite of everything, they may have brought gifts into your life: your children and the lessons being with each other taught you about yourself and relationships.

Feeling grateful can only help you in the long run. Through this, you’ll be setting an example to your children that you can still be a family even if you’re not together. What’s more, you’ll end up leaving the relationship with a greater understanding about who you are and what you want in a partner.

The Importance of Communication

Once your divorce is finalized, it’s easy to diminish your communication with your ex. You can opt for a simple text when you need the other to know something important, like information about your children. This scenario, however, can lead to a bad case of miscommunication, which leads to negative feelings.

Even as ex-partners, it’s important to communicate face to face so each of you can get across what you actually mean to say.

Your ex isn’t the only person you need to be communicating effectively with, though. Divorce can be bad for your mental health, bringing with it feelings of anxiety and insecurity.

So, talk to a professional or even your friends or family. This way, you can release the stress and turmoil you’re feeling in a calm and controlled manner. What’s more, you’ll have the emotional support you need as you process your feelings in such a tumultuous time in your life. With effective communication, you can avoid the build-up of hate inside you and start to heal, instead.

In the end, you can either use divorce as a way to slander your ex-spouse or choose to continue loving and respecting each other and the life you’ve built. Just remember that one choice will bring you continuous stress and pain, while the other can heal you and allow you to peacefully move on.

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